Borneo Love.

I was in Sarawak for 2 days last week to meet with the lovely kids that beau and I sponsor who by the way, did awesome in their mid years. A little something in me dies everytime I meet them because their livings lack so much in comparison to a lot of us. They don't even have easy access to basic necessities, they still think it is okay to hunt for food in the woods for leisure and going to school also still means hassle and so much trouble to them. 


Breaks my heart all the time.


When I got back in Malaysia, I was aware of the enlarging number of NGOs helping refugees in Malaysia and I got a bit sad. Sad thinking that while these Malaysians are helping the refugees, a lot more Malaysians are in poverty and even the locals can hardly get basic necessities in life - as simple as education. I'm never saying that helping the refugees is bad but it's really not good to be delivering help to outsiders more than the locals themselves get.


And it is regrettable that people like myself can only do so much...


However, my mood is always lifted seeing how it's the spirit that matters to these people. I will occasionally get texts from these kids saying how the new boats beau gave for school are utilized perfectly and how getting to town is now more convenient with better vehicle. Sometimes, even texts on how they've progressed from failing to passing and from skipping one whole month of school to just one week :P


They say that once we leave this world, we leave nothing behind but our deeds. For all that I lack, I hope this world will keep me in their prayers through the connections built from their hearts to mine.


Amen.

Lesson Learnt.

I have well contemplated on whether to write down on what has happened between Hariss and I for the past weeks or not and this post is written after I sought permission from him. :) Our relationship has gone by for over 2 years and not a day passed by without my feelings becoming deeper.

Some weeks back, a girl very dear to me tried to get in between and being an honest man that he is, he actually told what was happening to me, we were on a phone call for over 2 hours talking and he flew to Seoul where we sat together calmly. It was scary for me because bad expectations were piling up and for a 27 months relationship, lots of emotions were already invested and it was sad if all of that came to an end for such a petty issue.

I was and still glad that we both are very mature and we both appreciate what we have now so much so that we didn't let anything or anyone get in between. While I had said that, I felt guilty that I didn't fight for him as much as he fought for me since I told him to think back of what's best for him and that I would let this relationship go if he thinks that is best for him. It is surreal to know how I'm not a fighter material.

Everything is well now and I'm certain that I've never loved him more. :) Such a darling, this man. So grateful that our paths crossed, he found me and I found him. Makes me whole.